Humility is a concept that is often misunderstood today. It is sometimes mistaken for weakness or self-deprecation, but true humility is quite the opposite. It involves a clear understanding of one’s strengths and limitations and the ability to accept help from others. As a group, we suffering from substance abuse were rarely accused of having humility.
Humility plays a vital role in the healing process for those recovering from substance abuse. Becoming humble in substance abuse recovery is a cornerstone of success. In the 4th Edition of the AA Big Book, the words humility and humbly appear 22 times! This article explores what humility means, why it is essential for people in recovery, and the benefits it can bring to those seeking a sober life.
What is Meant by Humility?
It can be defined as a modest view of one’s importance. It does not mean thinking less of oneself; instead, it means thinking of oneself less. In other words, it is about having a balanced perspective, recognizing that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and understanding that we all have something to learn from others.
For the Stoics, humility wasn’t just a virtue but a practical tool for life. It wasn’t about self-deprecation but about self-awareness, acceptance of one’s limitations, and a focus on inner character rather than external achievements. It was their secret weapon, a practical approach that helped them maintain a sense of perspective, ground them, and prevent their egos from leading them astray. It’s a practical approach we can all adopt, empowering us to navigate life’s challenges with grace and wisdom.
Epictetus had a great view of what being humble can look like. He notes, “If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters—don’t wish to seem knowledgeable.”
Bill Wilson, one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), once said, “True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every AA meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.” Bill highlights that being humble is about recognizing our flaws and being open to growth and change.
The Importance of Humility in Recovery
Practicing humility is a crucial element for those recovering from substance abuse because it opens the door to healing. In the sobriety journey, recognizing the need for help is one of the first and most significant steps. It allows individuals to acknowledge that they cannot control their addiction alone and that they need the support of others to overcome their struggles.
It comes into play right out of the gates in the 12 Steps of AA. The first step is to admit that one is powerless over alcohol or drugs and that life has become unmanageable. This admission requires humility because it means letting go of pride and accepting the reality of one’s situation. Without this acceptance, the process of recovery cannot truly begin. It helps people see that they don’t have to face their challenges alone and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
If we do not practice being humble, it becomes challenging to benefit from one of AA’s greatest offerings: learning from others’ experiences, strength, and hope. In AA meetings, members share their stories, struggles, and successes. By practicing humility, people in recovery can learn from these shared experiences and gain insights that help them in their journey.
As the AA Big Book states, “We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. ‘Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?’ As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.”
One of the significant challenges in overcoming addiction is letting go of the ego, the part of us that resists admitting faults and accepting guidance. Humility helps people set aside their egos and be open to new ideas, strategies, and support systems. It shifts the focus from self-centered thinking to a broader perspective that includes the well-being of oneself and others.
The Stoics viewed ego as a barrier to achieving true wisdom and virtue. They believed that if we let our ego dominate, we cannot see things clearly or make sound decisions. The constant need for validation, praise, and recognition feeds the ego, distracting us from what is truly important: living a life aligned with reason, virtue, and integrity.
Benefits of Humility in Recovery
Practicing humility in recovery can lead to many positive outcomes, including personal growth, stronger relationships, and a more profound sense of inner peace. Here are some of the key benefits:
1. Improved Self-Awareness: Being humble allows us to look honestly at our behavior, thoughts, and feelings. By acknowledging our mistakes and weaknesses without harsh self-judgment, we can make changes that lead to personal growth. This kind of self-awareness is essential for understanding the triggers and patterns that contribute to addictive behavior.
2. Better Relationships: Addiction often damages relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. Humility helps rebuild these connections by encouraging honesty, vulnerability, and empathy. When we, in recovery, admit our mistakes and ask for forgiveness, we create the foundation for more robust, more authentic relationships.
Bill Wilson emphasized this in the 8th and 9th Steps of AA, where members make amends to those they have harmed: “Making amends requires a deep sense of humility, for we must set aside our pride and honestly face the pain we have caused others.”
3. Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Trying to control everything in life can lead to significant stress and frustration. Practicing humility teaches us to accept the things we cannot change and to focus on what we can do to improve our situation. Does that sound familiar? It is the essence of my favorite recovery tool, the Serenity Prayer! By letting go of the need to be perfect or to have all the answers, individuals in recovery can experience a greater sense of peace and calm.
4. Increased Resilience: Humility fosters resilience by helping people understand that setbacks and failures are part of learning. In recovery, there may be moments of relapse or self-doubt, but with humility, we can view these moments as opportunities for growth rather than as reasons to give up. This mindset encourages perseverance and the courage to continue moving forward, even when the journey is difficult.
Humility in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
Humility is a recurring theme throughout the 12 Steps of AA. It plays a vital role in many steps, guiding us to seek help, make amends, and surrender our will to a higher power. Some of the steps where it is most evident include:
• Step 3: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” This step involves a leap of faith and humility, trusting that a higher power can guide one to a better way of living.
• Step 7: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” This step directly speaks to humility by asking individuals to recognize their flaws and to seek help in overcoming them. It is a reminder that personal growth is a process that requires continuous effort and the willingness to change.
• Step 10: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Humility is crucial in this step as it encourages ongoing self-reflection and honesty. Admitting mistakes without defensiveness or excuses is a sign of true humility.
How to Practice Humility in Recovery
Cultivating humility is a journey that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Here are some practical steps that individuals in recovery can take to develop humility:
1. Practice Gratitude: Gratitude helps shift focus from what is lacking in life to what is already present. By appreciating the small victories and the support of others, we can cultivate a sense of humility and contentment. Regularly practicing gratitude can also lead to a more positive outlook and a deeper connection to others.
2. Listen More, Speak Less: Becoming humble means being open to the perspectives and experiences of others. By listening more than speaking, we can humbly gain valuable insights and learn from those who have walked a similar path. This practice also fosters empathy and a deeper understanding of oneself and others.
3. Accept Feedback: Humility involves being open to constructive criticism and using it as a tool for growth. Accepting feedback without becoming defensive can be challenging, but it is an essential part of personal development in recovery—this willingness to learn from mistakes and improve shows true strength.
4. Serve Others: One of the best ways to cultivate humility is by helping others. Acts of service remind individuals that everyone has their struggles and that we all need support at different points in our lives. In AA, the 12th Step encourages members to carry the message to others still suffering, highlighting the importance of giving back and supporting others in their journey.
Quotes on Humility from AA Literature
Alcoholics Anonymous literature is filled with insights about humility, highlighting its importance in the recovery process. Here are a few notable quotes:
• “We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick.” — AA Big Book
• “The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of AA’s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all.” — Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
• “Humility, as we have learned, is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” — Bill Wilson
These quotes reflect the deep connection between humility and the spiritual principles that guide the recovery process in AA.
Conclusion
Humility is a powerful tool for those recovering from substance abuse. It allows us to accept our limitations, seek help, learn from others, and grow beyond their past behaviors. By practicing humility, we in recovery can develop stronger relationships, reduce stress, increase self-awareness, and build resilience. As Bill Wilson and other AA founders have emphasized, humility is not about diminishing oneself but being open to change and growth.
In the recovery journey, humility is a guiding light that helps individuals move forward, embrace their vulnerabilities, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling and sober life. It is through being humble that we find the strength to ask for help, the wisdom to learn from our mistakes, and the courage to continue striving for a better tomorrow.
Resources:
Positive Psychology Article on Humility
Written By Tony Harte
