STEP 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

 Step 4 in Alcoholics Anonymous’ twelve steps is a pivotal moment in the journey to recovery. Searching and fearless moral inventory is a good practice for any human, but it is especially important for someone suffering from addiction.

As a cornerstone for introspection and self-discovery, this step aims to uncover deep-rooted issues, guilt, shame, and resentments that may have fueled addiction. Just as important is understanding and addressing these issues so they do not fuel a relapse.

 

 What Does AA Literature Say about Step 4?

 Let’s start our exploration of this step with the AA literature resources we have to reference and some quotes and insights from the founders of AA. Step 4 is covered in the Big Book and The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We will unpack this information and more throughout the article

 Big Book Chapter 5 “How It Works”

•  “In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry.”

•  “We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened.”

• “We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.”

 Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions “Step 4”

•  “The Fourth Step is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are.”

•  “We want to find exactly how, when, and where our natural desires have warped us.”

• “We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves.”

 Quotes from the Founders

 Bill W emphasizes “The inventory was ours, not the other man’s. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.”

 Also noteworthy is this quote from Bill W “Fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.”

Dr. Bob is not as often quoted as Bill W about specific steps, his approach emphasized simplicity and sincerity in practicing the steps. Dr. Bob often stressed the importance of honesty and humility in recovery, principles that are integral to Step 4.

 

Get R Done – Working Step 4

 Now, let’s cover some recommended approaches to effectively carry out the fourth step. Do not let perfection be the enemy of good with this step. It is not a do it once in your life and you can never go back type of effort. Do the best you can and if you find lingering issues resurfacing in the future, Do It Again! It’s Free!

 Honesty:  Emphasizing complete honesty is crucial. One is encouraged to be as open and truthful as possible about their faults and virtues. This can be especially difficult for those with addictions at times, especially if we are prone to blame other people for our problems. There are two sides to every story, and we MUST own our involvement and contributions to any scenario. Our searching and fearless inventory is about OUR behavior.

Let’s say for example someone has stolen items from you or they have betrayed you in a significant way. As a result, you retaliate by slashing the tires on their vehicle. Are you justified in feeling hurt or angry. Absolutely! Does that make it right to retaliate in a tangible way? I do not believe so. In this situation, we have wronged the person. The motivation or justification simply does not come into play when taking a personal inventory. We owe these people amends as much as anyone who was innocent in our mistreatment of them.

 Marcus Aurelius stresses mindfulness of accepting flaws in others as we approach our day. He offers “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

Also along these lines, Epictetus reminds us “We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens.” This speaks to the idea of examining how our perceptions and attitudes have contributed to our problems, a key part of Step 4.

 Writing it Down: It’s recommended to write down the inventory. This makes the process more structured and tangible, helping the individual to organize and reflect on our thoughts and behaviors systematically. I have found this critical as recovery is a lifelong process and we will need to revisit this step repeatedly over time.

As part of working the step again, after the first, I have found it helpful to review previous inventories as we have gaps in our memories and may need to add older transgressions to our new working.  Ideally, once we have cleaned out the closet, we are working the 4^th step mindfully each day making amends for our wrongs in more real time. This is an extremely freeing exercise that does not allow shame or guilt to build over time for our behaviors.

Similarly,  Seneca notes “I will keep constant watch over myself and — most usefully — will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil, that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We think about what we are going to do, and yet there are our most important plans neglected: how to behave well.”

 I have included a link below to a printable worksheet that may be a helpful tool.

 Guidance from a Sponsor: Working closely with a sponsor is advised. A sponsor who has already gone through the steps can offer guidance, support, and perspective. Hopefully, the sponsor will advise you to not let perfect be the enemy of good. It is easy to put off doing this step by saying “I do not feel like my inventory is complete.” 

No Need To Rush:  There is a balance to be struck here in my opinion. It’s important to take the necessary time to complete this step as thoroughly as you are capable at the time. My thoughts on not letting perfect be the enemy of good in reference to this step is not to avoid making a detailed inventory. It is simply to keep us from getting stuck on the 4^th step unnecessarily.

In my own experiences with working the step and assisting others, I have found that sometimes we look forward to Step 5 with dread before we finish Step 4. We anticipate the  embarrassment and shame we may feel by sharing our shortcomings with other. As a result, we may extend our work to put off the next step and its unpleasantness just a little longer. No one wants to have those feelings, but it is critical to our recovery.

 Break It Down: Breaking down the inventory into manageable parts, such as resentments, fears, harms to others, and sexual conduct, can help in tackling the task methodically. This is powerful and helpful advice that was passed on to me. We can have very scattered thoughts going into this step and it can seem extremely overwhelming if we have a long list in our inventory. If feeling overwhelmed, simply focus on one section at a time.

 Balanced Inventory:  It is important to not only list negative qualities or harm done but also to recognize your strengths and positive traits. This helps create a more balanced view of yourself. This goes hand-in-hand with the next recommendation to avoid too harsh a judgement on ourselves.

Avoiding Self-Judgment: While being critical is part of the inventory, you are advised to avoid harsh self-judgment which can lead to unnecessary guilt and shame. Yes we did bad things. Does that make us bad people? Typically, no. It is not an excuse; however, we were in the clutches of a wicked addiction that easily clouded our judgement and overrode our morals.

Some of the best human beings I know are ones I have met in recovery. Be hard on yourself to make sure you are getting an objective inventory but there is zero value in continuing to flog yourself for deeds done in the past. Being a better person moving forward is the best addition to any amends you need to make.

 Confidentiality: The inventory is personal and confidential, usually shared only with a sponsor or trusted confidant during the Fifth Step.

 Seeking Patterns: Identifying patterns of behavior that have led to problems or distress in one’s life is a key goal of this step. If, for example, you may owe multiple people amends for using harsh and hurtful language out of irritability or any other reason. This may be a key area to work on in recovery to avoid this behavior starting now so you live your life doing no further harm.

 These recommendations are not by any means exhaustive as your inventory is personal. If you incorporate the above into working step 4, you will have most of the major bases covered. The recommendations are designed to support you in making a comprehensive and effective moral inventory, setting the stage for the healing and transformation that the AA program aims to foster.

 

Stoicism and the 4^th Step

 Several of the parallels between stoic practices and the 4th step have been noted in this article.  It is evident how both philosophies emphasize self-awareness and acceptance of one’s limitations. Stoicism teaches us to focus on what we can control (hint: ourselves) and accept what we cannot.

This mindset resonates with the essence of the 4th step, which encourages individuals to take responsibility for their actions and confront their inner turmoil head-on. Marcus Aurelius has us bear in mind “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

 While obviously not referring to Step 4, he puts a fine point on keeping the focus on us while working this step as it is critical to building our foundation in recovery.  Moreover, both the 4th step and stoicism underscore the significance of letting go of the past and focusing on the present moment.

The 4th step encourages us to make take our inventory the move on to amends in the 5^th step for past wrongs and move forward with a clean slate, while stoicism teaches the practice of focusing on the present and not dwelling on past events that cannot be changed.

 

 Conclusion

 In conclusion, the 4th step in Alcoholics Anonymous is an indispensable component of the recovery process, fostering self-awareness, acceptance, and personal growth. Its parallels with stoic practices highlight the universal nature of its principles and the timeless wisdom they impart.

By embracing the lessons of the 4th step and incorporating stoic philosophy into their lives, individuals can cultivate resilience, inner peace, and ultimately, lasting sobriety. As will be noted throughout the A Stoic Sobriety Blog, I have found it useful to learn about the stoic philosophers and how they approached life’s challenges. This gives me another source of interesting stories, advice and thought formation that parallels the values of AA to bolster my own recovery.

This study of Stoicism is secondary and supplementary to what I learn in AA through literature and the experiences of other people recovering from addiction.

Resources

 Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book: https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt5.pdf

Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps and 12 Traditions: https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2022-01/en_step4.pdf

12step.org Downloadable 4th step worksheet: https://12step.org/docs/Step4_WS.pdf