Recovery is a journey filled with steps that guide us toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Step 3 is a crucial milestone. It involves making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a higher power as we understand it. But how can ancient wisdom, like Stoic philosophy, help us in working this step? Let’s explore this interesting blend of ideas. 

 What is a Decision?

We all believe that we know what a decision is as we make hundreds of them everyday; however, making this decision requires more thought and soul searching that deciding what to wear out of the house today. As Tony Robbins makes clear ““A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” Take your time with this step and truly decide. Much like Step 1 it is helpful to practice this step everyday.

 Understanding Step 3

Firstly, Step 3 of AA is about surrendering control. It’s acknowledging that we can’t manage everything on our own. This step isn’t easy because it requires trust and humility. Essentially, it’s saying, “I need help, and I am willing to accept it.” Be sure to refer to the Step 2 article if you have concerns about the use of the word God in this step. It refers to a higher power of one’s own choosing.  In the rooms of A.A. there is a useful play on words for one higher power option. 

G – Group 

O – Of

D -Drunks

  The Basics Of Stoicism

Now, let’s bring in Stoicism. This ancient Greek philosophy teaches the development of self-control and resilience as a means to achieve personal happiness. Stoics believe in focusing on what we can control and letting go of what we can’t. Sounds familiar, right? This is where the connection with Step 3 becomes clear. 

 Connecting Step 3 and Stoicism

Stoicism teaches us to distinguish between things in our control and things outside our control. Similarly, Step 3 in AA encourages us to surrender control of our lives to a higher power. In both, there’s a powerful message: not everything is in our hands, and that’s okay. Here is where I frequently use my favorite life tool of all time – The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Neiburh:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

 the courage to change the things I can, 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Applying Stoic Principles to Step 3 

 Applying Stoic Principles to Step 3

So, how do we apply Stoic principles to Step 3? Here are a few ways:

Embrace Change with an Open Mind: Change is constant. Stoics accept this gracefully. When working Step 3, be open to the changes that come with recovery.

Accept What You Can’t Control: Just like the Stoics, recognize that some things in life are beyond your control. This might include your past actions or the actions of others. Accepting this can bring a sense of peace.

Focus on What You Can Control: Your actions, thoughts, and attitudes are in your control. Work on these. Making positive changes in these areas aligns with both Stoic philosophy and the essence of Step 3.

Cultivate Inner Strength: Stoicism is all about building resilience. In Step 3, as you trust a higher power, you’re also called to develop inner strength to face life’s challenges.

Benefits of Combining These Approaches 

Merging Stoic principles with Step 3 offers several benefits. It helps in reducing anxiety about the future because you learn to accept what you can’t control. Also, it encourages personal growth. You become more resilient and find new ways to approach life’s challenges. 

Challenges in This Approach 

However, there are challenges. It’s not always easy to let go of control or to distinguish what’s in our power. This process requires patience and practice. Moreover, understanding and accepting a higher power concept can be difficult for some. 

Overcoming the Challenges 

To overcome these challenges, try the following:

Practice Mindfulness: Being mindful helps in recognizing our thoughts and feelings without judgment. This awareness is a first step in understanding what we can and cannot control.

Seek Support: Just as AA meetings provide support, discussing Stoic ideas with others can be helpful. Sharing experiences can make the journey easier.

Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your progress. Acknowledge the small victories and learn from the setbacks.

Be Patient with Yourself: Remember, change takes time. Be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate through this process. 

 Conclusion

In conclusion, integrating Stoic principles with AA’s Step 3 offers a robust framework for personal growth and recovery. While it comes with challenges, the journey is rewarding. It teaches us acceptance, resilience, and the importance of focusing on what we can control. As we walk this path, we find not just recovery, but also a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment. Remember, it’s a journey worth taking, and you don’t have to walk it alone. 

 Resources

Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org

Narcotics Anonymous: www.na.org