The Serenity Prayer is simple and yet profound. Ever need to take some deep breaths and change your perspective? The Serenity Prayer could be your answer. As result of being easily memorized and applied in seconds, it is a staple in the world of recovery and beyond. It is my most used and favorite tool.

Its concise expression of wisdom offers guidance and solace to those grappling with life’s challenges, especially those in 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). This article explores its origins, historical significance, the meaning of its elements, and its role in 12-step recovery programs. 

The Serenity Prayer 

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

 courage to change the things I can, 

 and the wisdom to know the difference“.   

Origins 

The Serenity Prayer’s roots can be traced back to the early 20th century. It is commonly attributed to the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, who is believed to have composed it around 1932-1933. Niebuhr’s prayer originally appeared in a longer form than the version most are familiar with today. The original version was as follows: 

“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.” 

However, the prayer’s earlier origins are a subject of debate. Some scholars suggest that it draws from various religious and philosophical traditions, echoing sentiments found in Greek stoicism, early Christian teachings, and Jewish rabbinical literature. As a matter of fact, Reinhold himself admitted, late in his life, he was unsure if he had penned it himself or adapted it from another source. Regardless, I am happy to attribute authorship in this form to him.  

The Spread and Evolution 

The prayer began to gain widespread popularity in the 1930s and 1940s in its abbreviated form.  At this point, The Serenity Prayer was brought to the attention of AA by an early member named Jack. According to AA history, Jack spotted the prayer in 1941 in a New York newspaper obituary. Finding it aligned with the principles of AA, he brought it to the group. 

Bill Wilson, a co-founder of AA, was particularly taken by the prayer. He immediately recognized its relevance to the AA philosophy, which emphasizes acceptance, courage, and wisdom as key elements in overcoming alcoholism. 

To demonstrate its relevance, AA began printing the prayer on cards and distributing them to members. This helped to solidify its role in AA meetings and traditions. It was adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step programs in the 1940s.  

Breaking Down the Elements

Serenity:

The first line of the prayer asks for serenity to accept unchangeable circumstances. In this context, serenity goes beyond mere calmness; it implies a deep, enduring peace and the ability to remain stable and composed in the face of life’s uncontrollable aspects.

The first thing to remember is it is not always easy to differentiate the things one cannot change vs those one can. To put it differently, many of us are stubborn and assume we have the power to change things in many situations where we simply do not have such power. This portion requires one to make an honest assessment of our span of control. 

 Courage:

The prayer then shifts to requesting courage to change what can be altered. This is particularly useful in recovery, where individuals are encouraged to take proactive steps towards sobriety, which often requires significant personal change.  

Without doubt, there are plenty of situations in recovery where this courage to change comes into play. In particular, when we are working through changing people, places and things, decisions and actions can become difficult.

My crowd do drink with were lifelong friends that I had known since grade school. Severing those relationships and choosing sobriety took courage.  By the same token, it could be family issues that are tough, maybe a job is threatening your sobriety or any number of other things in our comfort zone that we know need to change.

Wisdom:

Finally, the prayer seeks wisdom to differentiate between what can and cannot be changed. This discernment is crucial in life’s journey, as it guides us in focusing our efforts and energies on productive and achievable goals.

As noted above, we seek this wisdom because we do not always possess it ourselves. We like to believe there are situations where we do or should have control, but reality does not support that thinking.  

 Use in 12-Step Programs 

In 12-step programs, the Serenity Prayer is more than just words; it encapsulates the very essence of the recovery journey.

Acceptance: 12-step programs emphasize acceptance – recognizing one’s powerlessness over addiction and accepting life on life’s terms. This aligns with the prayer’s first plea for serenity in the face of unchangeable facts.

Action: The courage sought in the prayer resonates with the proactive steps required in recovery, such as making amends and engaging in personal inventory.

Discernment: The prayer’s final plea for wisdom echoes the ongoing process of self-evaluation and growth that is central to 12-step programs. 

 Stoicism and The Serenity Prayer 

 As noted above in the origins section, there are many parallels captured in The Serenity Prayer that align with the ancient philosophy of Stoicism. Whether we are aware of it or not, stoicism is weaved into our lives in many different forms.  

 Acceptance of What Cannot Be Changed: