None of us are without a job. In fact, most of us have multiple jobs. We may have one of the many different jobs that are a labor of love, providing an income, jobs we do as a labor of love,  designed to serve others or jobs that come with the responsibilities and duties of being part of a family or community. 

One Job for All

 The Stoics simplified all of this with the belief that we all share one job. This single job encapsulates all the other job responsibilities and duties in life. Marcus Aurelius said “In a sense, people are our proper occupation. Our job is to do them good and put up with them. But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us–like sun, wind, and animals.”

We can all agree that our experiences with people have run the whole spectrum from infuriating to ecstatic. I am certain that, for many, dealing with humanity has driven them to prefer their pets to most people. The reality is that we are all in this together. As western society continues to fracture into radical individualism, it is important for the Stoic and those with addictions to remember there are few among us that can live without other people and that doing them good benefits the whole. Serve others is a simple mantra for everyday.

Serve Others in Recovery

More specific to recovery is what is referred to as the fellowship in 12-Step Programs. The fellowship is people. It is supporting one another in our journey to put our lives back together after a history of destroying them. In Chapter 7 of the Big Book, Working with Others it clearly states, “Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.”

There is a nearly endless way that we can do others good in recovery. It starts with the very basics of attending meetings and getting to know people close to you. As you get to know people and learn about their struggles, you will be able to identify ways to help. It can be as simple as giving someone a ride to a meeting, sharing your experiences in overcoming similar problems or taking them out for coffee and being a sympathetic ear.

 The second part of the quote is equally useful to those recovering from addictions. It is common advice in 12-Step programs that you need to change people, places and things that may trigger a relapse. This typically means disassociating yourself with old drinking or using companions and staying away from bars or other locations where you spent time practicing your addiction. People that are not a healthy part of recovery need to become irrelevant to a a person in recovery. This can be extremely difficult to practice as sometimes this will include long time best friends, mentors and family members.

The bottom line for those with addictions is that we are of no use to ourselves or others if we are in the grips of addiction. It is critical to protect one’s recovery. You will also encounter people within a recovery community whose attitudes, opinions and views on life are not conducive to your recovery. In these cases, we do our best to support them by sharing our experiences in meetings, but we do not have to invite them into our lives or give them free rent in our heads.

 The Stoics believed in playing our part in the world. Serving others and participating in life outside of ourselves is a responsibility we are needing embraced.

Resources

Live to Serve others – Ted Talk – Baruc Lara

 Helping others makes us happier — but it matters how we do it – Ted Talk – Elizabeth Dunn