Recovery is a journey filled with steps that guide us toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), taking the 3rd Step is a crucial milestone. It involves making a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a higher power as we understand it. But how can ancient wisdom, like Stoicism, help us in working this step? Let’s explore this interesting blend of ideas. 

 What is a Decision?

We all believe that we know what a decision is as we make hundreds of them everyday; however, making this decision requires more thought and soul searching that deciding what to wear out of the house today.

As Tony Robbins makes clear “A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” Take your time with this step and truly make your decision. Much like Step 1 it is helpful to practice this step everyday.

 Understanding Step 3

Firstly, this step is about surrendering control. It’s acknowledging that we can’t manage everything on our own. This step isn’t easy because it requires trust and humility. Essentially, it’s saying, “I need help, and I am willing to accept it.” Be sure to refer to the Step 2 article if you have concerns about the use of the word God in this step. It refers to a higher power of one’s own choosing.  

In the rooms of A.A. there is a useful play on words for one higher power option. 

G – Group 

O – Of

D -Drunks

Connecting the 3rd Step and Stoicism

Now, let’s bring in Stoicism. This ancient Greek philosophy teaches the development of self-control and resilience as a means to achieve personal happiness. Stoicism focuses on what we can control and letting go of what we can’t. Sounds familiar, right?  They referred to this concept as “dichotomy of control.” Dichotomy of control is where the connection with this step becomes clear as we realize that we are not in control of restoring ourselves to sanity. 

Step 3 in AA encourages us to surrender control of our lives to a higher power. Remember that AA has no “musts” but on the other hand, working all the steps as thoroughly has been the key to success for those practicing the program. Surrendering is not a negative action to take in many situations. The ego may fight one and try to regain control  but ultimately we can overrule our ego. There is zero shame in surrender!

To help me with regularly surrendering and a reminder of my powerlessness, I use my favorite life tool of all time – The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Neiburh:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

 the courage to change the things I can, 

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Applying Stoic Principles

So, how do we apply Stoic principles to the 3rd Step? Here are a few ways:

Embrace Change with an Open Mind: Change is constant. Stoics accept this gracefully. When working this step, be open to the changes that come with recovery. Shifting from from having complete control in our lives to admitting our powerlessness and believing a higher power can restore us to sanity is made more difficult with a closed mind. 

As a reminder the Big Book uses the phrase “self-will run riot” to emphasize the we have tried to impose our will on life with little success. AA encourages us to trust in the process of recovery and a Higher Power and that requires an open mind.

Accept What You Can’t Control: Just like the Stoics, recognize that some things in life are beyond your control. This might include your past actions or the actions of others. Accepting this can bring a sense of peace. As mentioned above, The Serenity Prayer is a simple yet powerful tool to keep us mindful of what we can and cannot control.

Focus on What You Can Control: Your actions, thoughts, and attitudes are in your control. Work on these. Making positive changes in these areas aligns with both Stoic philosophy and the essence of the 3rd Step. Here a daily journal reviewing each days actions and identifying our challenges with control can be useful.

Cultivate Inner Strength: Stoicism is all about building resilience. In Step 3, as you trust a higher power, you’re also called to develop inner strength to face life’s challenges. Resilience grows naturally as we continue to work the program and make the practices part of our everyday lives.

Benefits of Combining These Approaches 

Merging Stoic principles with the 3rd Step offers several benefits. It helps in reducing anxiety about the future because you learn to accept what you can’t control. Also, it encourages personal growth. You become more resilient and find new ways to approach life’s challenges. 

Challenges in This Approach 

However, there are challenges. It’s not always easy to let go of control or to distinguish what’s in our power. This process requires patience and practice. Moreover, understanding and accepting a higher power concept can be difficult for some. 

Overcoming the Challenges 

To overcome these challenges, try the following:

Practice Mindfulness: Being mindful helps in recognizing our thoughts and feelings without judgment. This awareness is a first step in understanding what we can and cannot control. There are several apps available on any mobile phone (many of them free) that can help you learn to practice mindfulness. 

Seek Support: Just as AA meetings provide support, discussing stoicism with others can be helpful. Sharing experiences can make the journey easier. Do not hesitate to bring the 3rd Step up as a topic for a meeting or with your sponsor. 

Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your progress. Acknowledge the small victories and learn from the setbacks. Here, again, a daily journal may come in handy to get one in the habit of daily reflection.

Be Patient with Yourself: Remember, change takes time. Be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate through this process. Working the program is not on a regimented schedule. It is more important to work a step thoroughly. Remember that half measures avail us nothing. 

 Conclusion

In conclusion, integrating the principles of Stoicism with AA’s Step 3 offers a robust framework for personal growth and recovery. While it comes with challenges, the journey is rewarding. It teaches us acceptance, resilience, and the importance of focusing on what we can control.

As we walk this path, we find not just recovery, but also a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment. Remember, it’s a journey worth taking, and you don’t have to walk it alone. Taking the 3rd Step will insure we always having something to lean on when things get tough. 

 Resources

Alcoholics Anonymous Website

Narcotics Anonymous Website