AA Step 7: What Humility Does in Recovery — and Why It’s the Hardest Part 

Most people read Step 7 and think it’s the easy one. Just ask our higher power to remove your shortcomings and move on. Remember back in Step 2 when we came to believe in the higher power of our choosing? Here is where that personal relationship strengthens. But if you’ve sat with it long enough, you know that’s not what happens. The asking requires something most of us have spent years avoiding: real humility. Not self-pity. Not self-improvement energy. Humility — the kind that admits you cannot fix yourself alone. As we shift from Step 6 to Step 7 we are moving from “becoming willing” to taking action and asking our higher power for help.

What is humility in AA Step 7?
In the context of Step 7, humility means recognizing that you cannot remove your character defects through willpower alone — and asking a higher power, as you understand it, for help doing so. It is not about putting yourself down or feeling ashamed of who you are. It is about being honest enough to see your shortcomings clearly and open enough to accept help with them.

What Does AA Step 7 Actually Ask You to Do?

As we learned in Step 6, our shortcomings often involve behaviors, attitudes, or habits that have not served us well in the past. Most of these have been deeply ingrained for years, so it is no easy task to flip a switch and turn them off. The word “humbly” is central here. This is not just a casual or self-serving request for a better life but a humble appeal for growth and transformation.

In *The Twelve Steps and Traditions*, Bill Wilson explains: “The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear — primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or fail to get something we demanded. Living upon unsatisfied demands, we were in continual disturbance and frustration” (p. 76).

In this sense, the root of many of our shortcomings lies in self-centeredness, and Step 7 is about surrendering that selfishness. It requires us to let go of the illusion of control and trust in a higher power, whatever that may mean for each individual.

The Step 7 prayer in the Big Book (p.76) gets directly to the point of what Step 7 is asking us to do.

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.”

Why Humility Is the Core of Step 7 — Not Just a Nice Idea

Humility, as defined in the Cambridge Dictionary, is “the quality of not being proud because you are aware of your bad qualities.” When we recognize and acknowledge our shortcomings, we bring our ego back down to earth. It is harder to judge others harshly or react in anger to others’ shortcomings when we are mindful that we are not perfect either.

Being humble does not mean that we turn our knowledge of our shortcomings into feelings of guilt or shame. Everyone who draws a breath has shortcomings, and there is no shame in having them ourselves. When we take Step 7 seriously, we can have some pride in actively working to remove ours.

By humbling ourselves before a Higher Power, we begin to relinquish the false sense of control that contributed to our addiction. Wilson emphasizes that it is through humility that real change can happen, writing, “Indeed, the attainment of greater humility is the foundation of all spiritual progress.”

Bill Wilson was also clear about why this Step is specifically built around humility: “The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings, just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

In Stoicism, humility is a crucial virtue, though the term itself may not always be explicitly used. For the Stoics, humility is closely tied to recognizing one’s limits of control and understanding one’s place in the larger scheme of things. The Stoic virtue of temperance aligns the best with humility but it is peppered throughout the four virtues. Temperance focuses on:

Recognition of Limits: Humility involves knowing what we don’t know. The Stoics practiced intellectual humility by acknowledging that they were “prokoptōn” (those making progress) rather than perfect Sages.

Freedom from Ego: Temperance requires the suppression of vanity and the desire for external validation. A Stoic practices humility by not being swayed by praise or status, recognizing that these are “indifferents” (adiaphora).

Right Proportion: The Stoics use the term Sophrosyne to convey “soundness of mind.” It allows a person to see themselves as a small part of a vast whole (the Cosmopolis), preventing the inflation of the ego.

Marcus Aurelius emphasizes we must “Keep reminding yourself of how small a part you play in the grand scheme of things.” He recognized that we are just one small piece in the vastness of the universe, and as such, we should not become overly attached to our ego, status, or achievements. As a reminder, he was an Emperor — so imagine the challenges of keeping his ego in check with that kind of power.

True humility allows people in recovery to open themselves to the idea of a power greater than themselves. We acknowledge that we cannot do it alone by subduing our pride and humbly asking this higher power to remove our character defects.

Why Humility Is So Hard When You’re in Recovery

For many of us who struggled with substance abuse, the idea of humility can be foreign and uncomfortable. Alcoholism and addiction are often characterized by control and ego — an inflated sense of self-worth or, conversely, deep self-loathing masked by bravado. It is important to note that practicing humility is not a form of shame. We are not trying to be humble by berating ourselves for our pasts. Humility frees us from ego vs letting ego drive.

One of the critical mechanisms the ego uses to establish self-worth is comparison with others. This can often play a role in denial, which keeps some of us from getting sober in the first place. Noting “I am not as bad as that person, so I cannot be an alcoholic” is not an uncommon thought.

The same applies to comparing income levels, material possessions, relationships, and other aspects. Depending on how we spin it, we can exaggerate our self-worth or self-loathing. Humility stands in stark contrast to these defense mechanisms.

Wilson explains the importance of embracing humility in The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: “The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of AA’s Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all” (p. 70).

The ego is ever present and constantly battling to get its way in our daily lives. Even the most humble among us is not free from the cunning way of the ego. The Dalai Lama himself notes, “Even I feel anger or attachment sometimes. But I practice awareness. I recognize it and let it pass. The mind needs training, like a muscle. It doesn’t come naturally — even for me.”

Humility is challenging because we often find ourselves swimming against the current in a world that emphasizes perfection. We are bombarded with social media that portrays perfect lives that rarely match reality, marketing for products that lead us to compare ourselves to others, and other societal pressures.

What Are Character Defects, and Why Do They Threaten Sobriety?

Shortcomings refer to character defects or flaws that contribute to destructive behaviors. A good example is that we may become easily angered. When we become angered, we may say or do things that are destructive — either mentally or physically — to ourselves and others. They are deep-seated habits, fears, resentments, or attitudes that have often been built up over a lifetime. Other examples include pride, bitterness, selfishness, and anxiety.

Many people in recovery have spent years struggling with feelings of shame and guilt as we acted out on our character defects and made many attempts to address our addiction issues. We can carry these feelings into sobriety, and our self-loathing can become a barrier to ongoing sobriety. If we have this experience, in Step 7 we want to acknowledge self-loathing as a shortcoming and face it head-on by humbly asking for it to be removed.

Addressing these shortcomings is crucial in enhancing our sobriety and the overall quality of our lives. If we do not deal with our shortcomings, we can quickly revert to drinking in the belief that it will help us manage stress. Deep down, we know that alcohol is not the answer, but our disease is relentless in seeking opportunities to regain control of our lives.

The Stoics believed that moral development involved identifying and working to remove vices and shortcomings. For them, these shortcomings (or character defects) were rooted in irrational desires, passions, and impulses that prevented us from living virtuously. The ultimate goal for the Stoics was to live by nature and reason, which required eliminating irrational tendencies.

As always, our goal is progress, not perfection. After initially asking our higher power to remove our shortcomings, we must take action by being mindful of when we are practicing them and actively working to eliminate them in our lives. We are simply trying to become the best version of ourselves, one day at a time, and one action at a time. Addressing our shortcomings brings us one step closer to that version.