Relapse Prevention and Recovery
As noted in the first article in this two-part series, relapse, for many, is part of the journey for many recovery from addiction in a 12-Step program like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or other treatment programs. Getting to the point of admitting complete powerlessness over alcohol or drugs is a process that, for some, continues into early attempts at recovery.
We reviewed the warning signs of a potential relapse in the previous article. Listed below are the warning sign categories. You can reference the last article for more details.
• Mood Swings
• Isolation
• Negative Thinking
• Anxiety and Stress
• Return to Old Habits
• Cravings
• Glamorizing Past Use
• Lying
• Planning to drink
This article will focus on what we can do when we see any of the above warning signs. As noted in the previous article, many of these signs can be subtle and easily minimized or rationalized away when they appear. A daily inventory written down can help identify patterns of behavior. For example, if we have multiple entries from the past week where our day is filled with negative thinking, that can prompt us to think that something deeper may be happening.
Awareness is our first step here; just like in Step 1 of AA, we had to be aware that we had a problem and had to overcome any denial or ego resistance before we could admit that we were powerless over alcohol. Identifying relapse symptoms requires mindfulness and constant self-evaluation. If we successfully identify that we have relapse-related behaviors, we can take any or a combination of the suggestions below to protect our sobriety.
Reach Out for Support
Talk to Someone: Share your feelings and thoughts with a trusted friend, family member, or sponsor. Spending too much time in our heads trying to work through emotions or problems can be a dangerous thing. We often benefit from sharing what we are going through with a third party.
It gets our thinking out into the open, and it gives those who care about us the opportunity to challenge or redirect our thinking. Never underestimate the power of sharing what is going on in your head. If you have shared with others and do not seem to be getting anywhere, there is no shame in seeking professional Help from a qualified psychologist or therapist. Remember to “go to any lengths” to protect our sobriety.
Attend 12-Step Meetings: Increase attendance at support group meetings like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). Attending meetings and being open to what is shared by others has value in that it reinforces our dedication to remaining sober and puts us in the company of others with the same goal.
I have often found that by some twist of fate, the meeting topic hits on exactly what I am struggling with. As noted above, this is another opportunity to share ourselves and seek input on what we are experiencing.
Maximize Coping Strategies
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing exercises to manage stress and anxiety are powerful tools in recovery. The whole point of mindfulness is to quiet our minds and remain focused on the present moment. The past and future do not exist, so if our thoughts focus on the past or future, they are a creation of our ego and do not represent reality in this moment.
In ancient Buddhism, the concept of taming the “monkey mind” was used. Monkey mind refers to a restless, unsettled, and easily distracted mind. It likens the human mind to a monkey constantly swinging from branch to branch, never still, jumping from one thought to another without focus or purpose. By using mindfulness to tame the monkey mind, we can gain more clarity regarding our thinking.
Engage in Healthy Activities: Engaging in healthy activities, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones, provides an emotional boost. There are numerous benefits to focusing our energy on healthy activities, but the main one is that they often provide some relief from our monkey minds. While these activities may not solve our problems, they shift our focus and allow us to have positive experiences that can lessen the impact of thoughts and behaviors that may lead to a relapse.
Avoid Our Triggers: If you are seeing warning signals of a potential relapse, make the AA suggestion to avoid people, places, or situations that trigger cravings a top priority! We need to do our best always to avoid triggers, but if we are experiencing other relapse-related behavior, this is the time to double down on avoiding our triggers.
Strengthen Your Commitment to Recovery
Review Why We got Sober: We all entered recovery for a reason. No one I have ever met got sober because they were having a good time and a wonderful life. We can think back and make a list to remind ourselves of what initially motivated us to get sober.
Another approach that can be helpful is visualizing the outcome of what a relapse may look like. For example, if we relapse, will we destroy the trust and relationships that we have worked so hard to build in sobriety? We know our life was so miserable that we sought out sobriety, and our goal was, at minimum, to escape the misery with a new way of life. Are we under the illusion that things will be different if we take a drink?
We can put a specific written plan in place to strengthen our commitment. We could recommit to 90 meetings in 90 days or even 30 meetings in 30 days to help us move past our current challenges. We may have identified specific shortcomings driving our relapse behaviors and need to work on Step 6 and Step 7 again. We could also set goals for healthy activities two or three times a week. The point is to create a structure that keeps us busy and focused on overcoming the current challenges.
Positive Affirmations: Use positive affirmations to reinforce your commitment to recovery. Positive affirmations can be exercises in futility or the answer to all problems, depending on who you listen to. I fall somewhere in the middle. I am no Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live proclaiming, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”
I do believe; however, that positive self-talk, such as “I am sober one day at a time, and I am committed to staying sober today,” can be helpful when we are struggling. Many of the sayings in AA, such as “this too shall pass,” can also be used as affirmations
I relapsed – Now What?
Many people in recovery experience setbacks, and they don’t define them or erase their progress. The path is rarely linear. It’s not a failure; it’s a detour. Countless people in 12-step programs have been where you are, and they’ve found strength to continue.
The Stoics practiced a form of self-compassion, understanding that beating oneself up over a mistake is unproductive. Instead, they encouraged recognizing errors, taking responsibility, and using mistakes to motivate improvement.
Instead of letting guilt or shame take over, reflect on what led to this moment. Was it stress, isolation, or old habits creeping in? Learning from it can be invaluable in strengthening your recovery journey. Remember, we build recovery one day at a time. Just because you stumbled doesn’t mean you can’t get back on track right now.
As outlined above, coping mechanisms and strengthening our commitment apply after a slip. Many tools are available to improve our sobriety, and I recommend using as many as possible. In addition to the suggestions above, I’d like to suggest additional actions here to help restore our sobriety.
Accept Responsibility: Admit to yourself and others that you have relapsed. Denial will only make the situation worse. It is also inappropriate to blame others for our relapses or other harmful behavior. A core aspect of practicing a 12-step program is taking responsibility for our actions.
The Stoics emphasize control over our responses rather than the events themselves. When we make mistakes, what matters is how we respond. Epictetus reminded his students to focus on their reactions, attitudes, and future actions rather than getting stuck in regret over past mistakes.
Accepting responsibility is not about being down on or mentally berating ourselves. It may take some time to work through it, but forgive yourself. A relapse is not the end of the world, and previously, you had a taste of what a better life sobriety can offer. Finding recovery is a blessing, and the path is always there for us to travel.
Seek Help Immediately: Reach out to your sponsor, 12-step support group, therapist, or trusted friend or family member. If the relapse was an extended one, we may need to consider entering a detox program or an inpatient rehabilitation center. These actions require courage, but our lives are on the line for many of us, and I can think of nothing more important to rally our courage towards.
Learn and Adjust: It is important to remember that our recovery is about progress, not perfection and that failures are incredible opportunities to learn. Determine what triggered the relapse and how you can avoid or handle these triggers in the future. I think that moving forward may require developing new coping strategies. Our support network can be a critical resource to help build these new coping strategies, and we should consider putting together a written recovery plan.
Conclusion
Relapse is a standard part of the recovery process from substance abuse. Recognizing the warning signs, knowing what to do when you see these signs, and understanding how to respond if you do relapse are crucial steps in maintaining long-term sobriety.
Once we return to the path, it is vital to maintain a positive outlook on our recovery journey. As we embrace sobriety again, celebrate successes, no matter how small, and learn from setbacks. A positive attitude can boost our resilience and keep us motivated.
By building a solid support system, staying involved in 12-Step support groups, creating a structured routine, and practicing self-care, we can reduce the risk of relapse and strengthen your commitment to recovery. Relapse does not mean failure—it is an opportunity to learn, grow, and reinforce your dedication to a sober and fulfilling life.
Mistakes are humbling, and the Stoics valued humility as a virtue. Epictetus suggested that we approach mistakes as opportunities to become better and wiser, understanding that wisdom often comes through experience and error.
You’ve got this. One Day at a Time!
Resources:
How to Create a Successful Relapse Prevention Plan – The Recovery Village
Preventing Relapse – Hazelden Betty Ford
Written By Tony Harte
