Step 11 AA: Prayer, Meditation & Finding Your Higher Power
Steps 10, 11, and 12 focus on incorporating critical practices into our daily recovery efforts. Where Step 10 suggests an ongoing personal inventory and prompt amends, the 11th Step focuses on continually growing the relationship with our higher power. We are hitting on the “God” topic again in this Step. For more thoughts on a higher power, I cover a lot in the Step 2 article that might interest you.
The 11th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) states: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” If we do this practice or something similar daily, we are taking significant steps toward building resilience into our sobriety.
Practicing Step 11 involves more than setting aside time for prayer and meditation; it’s about living these principles throughout the day. In his 1958 Grapevine article on Step 11, Bill W. advised members to integrate spirituality into everyday actions.
“How shall we meditate? To begin with, we might consider how our meditative practice may develop… As beginners in meditation, we might now and then draw a sharp distinction between prayer and meditation. Prayer is the raising of the heart and mind to God — and in this sense, it includes meditation.”
It is always worth repeating that AA provides the flexibility for agnostics and atheists to practice the 12 steps to rebuild their lives. Spirituality, as expressed in AA, is inclusive and personal. We are encouraged to interpret “God” or a higher power in a way that aligns with our beliefs. The purpose of this step is not dogmatic but practical: to provide tools for reflection, guidance, and continued recovery.
Prayer and Meditation Simplified
Prayer and meditation are central to Step 11. While prayer involves seeking a connection with a higher power, meditation emphasizes listening and mindfulness. Together, these practices nurture the spiritual and personal awareness critical to our journey of growth in recovery. In the AA Big Book, the importance of prayer and meditation is highlighted: “We shouldn’t be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly. It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.” (Big Book, p. 85)
If one does not already have prayer or meditation practices in their lives, there are endless books and other online resources that we can study to find an approach that works for each of us. The importance lies in taking action to see what works for us. Dr. Bob tells us, “Don’t complicate it; keep it simple,” there is no better area to apply that advice than here.
I highly recommend reading Bill W’s 1958 Grapevine Article on Step 11. Not only do we learn about his thoughts on Step 11, but we also learn about the man and his struggles with spirituality. During his last stay at Towns Hospital in December 1934, he had an incredible spiritual awakening experience that directly put him in touch with God’s existence. From that experience, he “knew” there was a God. That said, Bill continued to be more of an agnostic and admittedly struggled to establish an ongoing relationship with God after that experience.
In the article, he discusses Step 11 as an area of the program where he still considered himself a novice after 24 years of sobriety. It is fascinating to read about this aspect of his recovery. With Father Ed Dowling as his spiritual sponsor and Dr. Bob, a strong Protestant, as his partner in developing AA, Bill sought to expand his spirituality through several channels.
In the article, he offers the following advice after describing a fellow struggling to believe in a God. “Well, he can strenuously try meditation, prayer, and guidance, just as an experiment. He can address himself to whatever God he thinks there is. Or, if he thinks there is none, he can admit–just for experimental purposes–that he might be wrong. This is all-important. As soon as he is able to take this attitude, it means that he has stopped playing God himself; his mind has opened.”
How we practice prayer and meditation is very personal. It can be overwhelming if one grew up within a family, culture, religion, or belief system that does not adhere to a set of practices. Working Step Eleven does not require us to subscribe to any pre-defined approaches. Like going to a shoe store, we can look around, identify what is appealing, try them on, and walk around a bit to find what fits.
For Agnostics and Atheists
For those not familiar, in the simplest terms, an atheist believes that there are no Gods. On the other hand, an agnostic neither affirms belief in gods nor rejects the possibility of their existence outright. The agnostic typically emphasizes a lack of certainty in knowledge and the limitations of human understanding. Again, that is a characterization in its simplest terms.
The best place to start on this topic is Chapter 4 in the Big Book, “We Agnostics.” I think the work on this chapter had to be some of the trickiest of the whole book. Imagine a lot of drunks with a diversity of strong feelings and beliefs debating the contents of this chapter. To have been a fly on the wall for those conversations would have been amazing. I read the chapter as one that tends toward agnosticism, and I love it more every time I read it.
As mentioned earlier, there are endless ways to pray and meditate. An incredible number of these approaches to connecting with a higher power are not deity-centric or require a commitment to a belief system. This may sound ludicrous, but even believing that nothing is responsible for what has happened on this rock floating through a single galaxy among 100 billion and 2 trillion galaxies seems to be a belief in something still.
One might say, how can you believe in “nothing” when it is “nothing”? I don’t know, but it seems like a simple premise that nothing is still something, even if it is nothing. I’m having some fun here trying to say that practicing this step is possible for anyone interested in working in the program. The key is to identify something (or nothing) more significant than one’s ego that provides guidance and stability.
Developing a Personal Practice
Ok, so let’s get down to some tangible aspects of working on the 11th Step. As mentioned, this is not a one-size-fits-all, cookie-cutter step to work. It invites us to explore practices that resonate with each of us individually. Here are a few suggestions for integrating prayer and meditation into daily life:
1) Morning Prayer: Start the day by asking for guidance and strength to stay sober. This can be as simple or as complex as one chooses. “Help me to stay sober and do the next right thing today” is a prayer, and so is the Buddhist Lotus Sutra, which can last hours or days.
2) Mindful Breathing: If one cannot get the hang of this, there are apps, YouTube videos, and endless resources on the internet to experiment with. The simplest is to focus on the breath to quiet the mind and center yourself. If you haven’t tried this, I highly suggest that you leave any perfectionism at the door. The mind will wander, and you must reel it repeatedly to focus on your breathing. Several sessions may feel like all you accomplish is “returning” to concentrate on your breathing, which is 100% OK and part of the process.
3) Evening Review: Reflect on the day’s events, identifying growth moments and improvement areas. This, too, can be as simple or complex as one likes. If one is a list person, one can freely list until one’s heart’s content is reached, or a few sentences in a journal might capture the fruits of our reflection. Writing our reflections down has power, but it is certainly not required.
As mentioned, there is no one one-size fits-all here, so try on as many pairs of shoes as you need to find the right fit. I get so much enjoyment out of trying on shoes that I have yet to find the perfect pair. One of my favorite quotes is “Not all those who wander are lost,” a line from the poem “The Riddle of Strider” in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. There is nothing wrong with wandering!
Step 11 and Stoicism: A Harmonious Connection
While Stoicism is not inherently spiritual, it shares parallels with Step 11. Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus advocated self-reflection, mindfulness, and aligning with the universe’s natural order. These practices mirror the introspection and surrender that Step 11 fosters.
For example, Marcus Aurelius advised: “When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.” This daily practice of gratitude and mindfulness aligns seamlessly with prayer and meditation, encouraging us to connect with something greater than ourselves.
The Role of Prayer in Step 11
In AA, prayer is not limited to formal rituals. It can be as simple as asking for strength, guidance, or clarity. The Serenity Prayer, a cornerstone of AA, exemplifies this: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Stoicism offers a parallel in its emphasis on distinguishing between what we can and cannot control. Epictetus’s teachings echo this: “Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us.” Recognizing this distinction fosters peace and equips us to face life on life’s terms with composure.
Meditation: A Practice of Awareness and Stillness
Meditation, the second cornerstone of Step 11, involves quieting the mind and fostering a state of awareness. This practice helps recovering individuals detach from ego-driven thoughts and focus on the present moment. It’s a tool for listening to inner wisdom and divine guidance.
In “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, meditation is described as a means to “quietly and humbly ask…what we should do each day for the next twenty-four hours.” This aligns with the Stoic practice of morning and evening reflection. Epictetus encouraged daily contemplation: “What did I do wrong? What did I do right? What duty’s left undone?”
Meditation also builds resilience, an essential quality for those in recovery. Focusing on the present, we learn to navigate cravings, negative emotions, and external stressors more easily.
Humility and Surrender in Step 11
Humility is a cornerstone of Step 11. We acknowledge our limitations and seek guidance beyond ourselves through prayer and meditation. Bill Wilson described humility as “a clear recognition of what and who we really are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be.”
Stoicism emphasizes humility. Marcus Aurelius reminded himself, “Do not think yourself more than you are; do not think less of yourself than you are worth.” This balanced perspective helps us approach Step 11 openly and authentically, fostering a deeper connection to our Higher Power.
Conclusion – A Lifelong Journey
Step 11 is an ongoing process. It evolves as we grow in recovery and deepen our understanding of spirituality. Today’s practices may shift over time, reflecting changes in circumstances and personal growth. The Big Book concludes its section on Step 11 with a message of hope and reassurance: “We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.”
Resources:
Bill W’s Grapevine Article on Step 11
Written By Tony Harte
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