We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
While it sounds counter intuitive, the first step in a 12-step program is about acknowledging powerlessness over a particular issue or addiction and recognizing that life has become unmanageable as a result. It is an admission that one cannot control their compulsive behavior or dependency on a substance, and it has negatively impacted various aspects of their life. The first step takes us closer to Marcus Aurelius’s quote “The wise man accepts his pain, endures it but does not add to it.” By truly taking the first step we stop adding to our pain.
While not stated in the first step, the concept of One Day At A Time comes into play here. It encourages focusing on the present moment and staying sober one day at a time rather than becoming overwhelmed by the prospect of lifelong abstinence. Breaking the goal into manageable increments, individuals can better cope with cravings, triggers, and the challenges of maintaining sobriety. It has always been helpful to me to meditate on this quote from Marcus Aurelius – “When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”
This step encourages individuals to confront the reality of their situation, breaking through denial and self-deception. It sets the foundation for the rest of the program, as it opens the door to self-reflection, acceptance, and a willingness to seek support from others who have faced similar struggles. It is a powerful starting point for personal growth and recovery.
There are parallels between the first step of a 12-step program and certain Stoic principles. Both emphasize acceptance of reality and acknowledging things beyond one’s control. As Seneca states, “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will.”
In Stoicism, there’s a concept called the “dichotomy of control,” which encourages individuals to focus only on what they can control and accept what they cannot. The first step, with its acknowledgment of powerlessness over addiction or certain behaviors, aligns with this Stoic idea of recognizing and accepting limitations. Epictitus’s quote emphasizes this concept – “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will.”
Another powerful tool adopted in A.A. is the recitation of the Serenity Prayer. This prayer is in direct alignment with the dichotomy of control concept. A whole other article can be written on the deep meaning of this prayer but here it is.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Additionally, both the first step and Stoicism stress the importance of self-awareness and a clear understanding of one’s own shortcomings. The idea of surrendering to a higher power in the first step can also be seen as a form of acknowledging a greater, uncontrollable force, which aligns with the Stoic concept of recognizing a broader cosmic order.
While not identical, these philosophical and programmatic approaches share common themes of acceptance, self-awareness, and surrendering control over things beyond one’s power.
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Written By Tony Harte
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