AA Step 4 Guide: Moral Inventory & Stoic Principles
Welcome to Step 4! How did Step 3 go? Step 3 is easier for some than others but a critical step for all of us. Now, on to Step 4, often called the “moral inventory.” This step is one of the most challenging yet rewarding on our journey. It requires us to take a deep, honest look at ourselves, identifying our strengths, weaknesses, and behavior patterns.
This step concerns self-examination, honesty, and courage—principles that align closely with Stoicism, an ancient philosophy emphasizing self-discipline, reason, and personal responsibility. In this article, we will explore the significance of Step 4, its connections to Stoic principles, and how it can lead to profound personal growth.
The step reads: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
Bill W. gets to the core of this step in the Big Book, stating, “Without a fearless moral inventory, the faith that really works in daily living is still out of reach.” Not doing this work leaves unresolved issues in our lives that impact our daily lives and can eventually lead to relapse if not addressed.
Remembering the phrase “We are only as sick as our secrets” when working on this step is key. Yes, guilt, shame, and other icky feelings will arise, but we need to remember that this short-term pain has a significant impact on our future well-being. It’s time to set aside what we think is good for us today and give some love to our future selves.
A Practical Approach to Working Step 4
Step 4 can be intense, but with a straightforward approach, it does not need to be complicated. Do not let perfection be the enemy of good with this step. It is not a do-it-once-in-your-life-and-you-can-never-go-back type of effort. Do the best you can, and if you find lingering issues resurfacing in the future, Do It Again! It’s Free!
The idea is to write down any wrongs we have done to others and any resentments we may be holding onto. From this start, we can further think through our behaviors and identify what drove those actions. Here are some thoughts on working on this step.
1) Honesty: Complete honesty is crucial. We must be as open and truthful as possible about our faults and virtues. This can be especially difficult for those with addictions, especially if we are prone to blaming other people for our problems. Every story has two sides, but only one side counts in taking this step—ours! We MUST own our involvement and contributions in any scenario.
Bill W emphasizes, “The inventory was ours, not the other man’s. When we saw our faults, we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.”
2) Writing it Down: We should write down the inventory. It can be on a napkin or a piece of paper, but writing it down gives us something tangible to work with. Additionally, I recommend physically writing it down with a pen or pencil, as it gives the effort a feel of accountability and connectedness versus typing it out on a computer. However, it is certainly not a requirement.
Putting words to paper makes the process more structured and tangible, helping us systematically organize and reflect on our thoughts and behaviors. It is helpful to take a structured approach as our thoughts may be all over the place. I have included links below to Step 4 worksheets that may help you get started.
Guidance from a Sponsor: Hopefully, you have a sponsor. If not, I recommend getting one to help you through this and a few upcoming steps at minimum. A sponsor who has undergone the steps can offer guidance, support, and perspective.
3) No Need to Rush: It’s essential to take the necessary time to complete this step as thoroughly as we can; however, there is also a balance to be struck here. My point on not letting perfect be the enemy of good is not to avoid making a thorough and fearless moral inventory. It simply keeps us from getting stuck in the 4th step unnecessarily.
In my own experiences with working on the step and assisting others, I have found that sometimes, we look forward to Step 5 with dread before we finish Step 4. We anticipate the embarrassment and shame we may feel by sharing our shortcomings with others. As a result, we may extend our work to put off the next step and its unpleasantness just a little longer. A sponsor can help push us through any self-made roadblocks.
4) Make it Manageable: Breaking down our fearless and moral inventory into manageable parts, such as resentments, fears, harm to others, and sexual conduct, can help tackle the task methodically. This is powerful and helpful advice that was passed on to me.
Our thoughts can be widely scattered going into this step, and it can seem highly overwhelming if we have a long list in our inventory. If you feel overwhelmed, focus on one section at a time. Feel free to use a template like the few linked below or search for one on the internet that suits your style.
5) Minimize Harsh Self-Judgment: While being critical is part of the inventory, the intent is not to tear ourselves down completely. Yes, we did terrible things. Does that make us bad people? Typically, no. Now that we are in recovery, we are striving to be better people, and it is not an excuse if we acknowledge that we were in the clutches of a wicked addiction that clouded our judgment and overrode our morals.
We are hard on ourselves to ensure we get an objective inventory, but there is zero value in continuing to flog ourselves for deeds done in the past. From now on, being a better person is the best way to reinforce our amends.
6) Seek Patterns: This step’s key goal is to identify patterns of behavior that have led to problems or distress in our lives. Are there poor behaviors that repeatedly show up because we are fearful, egotistical, or lack compassion? If so, these areas where we see patterns may become a priority for us to address and get better over time.
Our goal is to minimize the harm we do in the future to benefit everyone in our lives. We will get to this work in future steps, but our inventory provides a map to continue the journey.
Wrapping Up the Approach: These recommendations are not exhaustive, as each of our inventories is personal. If you incorporate the guidance above into working step 4, you will have most of the major bases covered. Like AA itself, I only offer suggestions, and it is up to each of us individually to do the work.
Step 4 and the Stoic Connection
While all 12 steps parallel the ancient philosophy of Stoicism, steps 4 and 10 have the most substantial connection. The Stoics always strived to become better versions of themselves through self-reflection, which is what we in recovery also aspire to. Let’s dig deeper into these connections.
The Courage to Face Ourselves
Taking an honest inventory requires courage. Many people avoid self-reflection because it can be uncomfortable or even painful. However, facing the truth about us is essential for growth.
The Stoic philosopher Seneca wrote: “It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable. If it so resolves, it cannot be compelled.”
These fancy words mean we have the power to overcome whatever we set our mind to. This resolve to confront our inner truths powers the courage needed for Step 4. AA and Stoicism recognize that avoidance only prolongs suffering while facing reality head-on fosters freedom and strength.
Seneca also notes, “I will keep constant watch over myself and — most usefully — will put each day up for review. For this is what makes us evil, that none of us looks back upon our own lives. We think about what we are going to do, and yet there are our most important plans neglected: how to behave well.”
Overcoming Fear and Resistance
It’s natural to feel fear or resistance when approaching Step 4. Many people worry about what they might uncover or how they will handle their emotions. However, these fears often stem from a misunderstanding of the process. This step is not about judgment but liberation.
The Stoics remind us that fear is often exaggerated in our minds. Epictetus advised: “Men are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them.” When approaching Step 4 with an open mind, we often find our fears unwarranted, and the process is less intimidating than we imagined.
Honesty Now for a Better Future
Honesty is a cornerstone of Step 4. In the inventory process, we strive to be truthful about our flaws and virtues without exaggeration or minimization. Here, we are engaging the Stoic practice of “praemeditatio malorum “(foreseeing adversity), where we prepare for challenges by acknowledging our vulnerabilities and strengths.
Foreseeing adversity is a benefit of working on this step that is often not focused on. By doing this work, we are giving ourselves the gift of being able to visualize stumbling blocks we may put in our path as we move forward to avoid them. Additionally, this encourages us to envision the person we aspire to be and honestly assess what changes are necessary to become that person.
As Epictetus emphasized: “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
Recognizing Patterns and Root Causes
Step 4 asks us to identify recurring patterns of thought and behavior that contribute to our struggles. For example, we might notice a tendency to blame others for our problems or use anger to mask fear. These insights allow us to address the root causes of our actions rather than just their symptoms.
The Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
We can break free from destructive cycles by recognizing that our reactions and choices are within our control. When we take responsibility for what we can control and choose to focus on these, choosing to make improvements, we are changing our lives.
Balancing Accountability with Compassion
While Step 4 emphasizes accountability, it also requires self-compassion. The goal is not to punish ourselves but to understand and learn from our experiences. Many who take this step are initially harsh with themselves, but it’s important to remember that acknowledging mistakes is not the same as condemning oneself.
Stoicism teaches a balanced perspective on self-evaluation. Epictetus advised: “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” This humility encourages us to embrace imperfection as part of human experience and not be ashamed.
Building Emotional Resilience
One of the most valuable outcomes of Step 4 is increased emotional resilience. By confronting our fears, regrets, and insecurities, we become less controlled by them. Stoicism also emphasizes resilience through the practice of ataraxia (peace of mind).
Marcus Aurelius observed: “You have been through many troubles, yet you are still here. Take courage, for it is the mind’s power to shape its own reality.” Both Step 4 and Stoicism teach that peace comes from avoiding discomfort and facing it with wisdom and courage.
Conclusion
Step 4 in Alcoholics Anonymous is a courageous act of self-exploration and accountability. It requires honesty, humility, and perseverance, but the rewards are immeasurable. By aligning with Stoic principles like courage, reason, and self-discipline, individuals can deepen their understanding of themselves and their journey in recovery.
Both AA and Stoicism teach that true freedom comes from within. By facing our fears and accepting responsibility for our lives, we can break free from the chains of addiction and live with greater peace and purpose.
Resources:
Step 4 from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions – Audio Version
Step 4 from Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions – PDF
Written By Tony Harte
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